Money markets panic as value of limited edition Orange Kit Kat plunges
A fresh wave of unease fell on the markets today with news that the limited edition orange Kit Kat has fallen in value by 25% during just one day‘s trading. ‘Limited edition Kit Kats have been one of...
View ArticleScottish Widows investigation launched
Lothian and Borders Police have launched an investigation into a secretive society known only as ‘Scottish Widows’. Notoriously publicity-shy, apart from their ubiquitous television advertisements,...
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Iain Duncan Smith raises retirement age for Olympic cyclists
Following an attempt yesterday by six-time Olympic gold medallist Sir Chris Hoy to retire from professional cycling, the Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith has immediately legislated to...
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Bank of England to open branch on every high street
A budget which promised help for savers, free access to pension funds to lend to the government through new bonds, and tax-free savings up to £15,000 in an ISA failed to explain the whole picture,...
View ArticleToddlers demand the choice to take Child Benefit as a lump sum
The pressure group CASHIN, which purports to campaign for the rights of minors, has announced that it will be pressing the government to allow for the payment of Child Benefit as a one-off tax free...
View ArticleOsborne offers all pensioners a trip to Vegas
Chancellor George Osborne has agreed to invest the nation’s pension schemes on Nevada’s craps tables. By simply cashing out their savings now, those approaching retirement can boost the economy while...
View ArticleYoung people cotton on to social con trick
The social con trick, whereby healthy young people with juniors’ salaries, no savings, huge mortgages (if they’re lucky) and the expense of raising families are expected to pay for the care and...
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